


never knew the price

by hatae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends to Lovers, Existential Crisis, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 10:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16533023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatae/pseuds/hatae
Summary: Somehow Jeno hardly noticed falling in love with his best friend. He wondered if there was even a progress at all. One day he just found himself looking at Jaemin beaming at him and realized thatshit, he was in love with him.





	never knew the price

**Author's Note:**

> hey, you know what ship i love in nct? markwin. i mean, i guess nomin is also kinda cute, but y'know, you didn't hear that from me bc i don't usually ship the most popular ship in a fandom lmao
> 
>  
> 
> wOW, guys. this is highkey inspired by one of my favorite jonty-fics of all time: [it's my fault (because i love you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4143741). oh man, back when people were still watching the 100. anyone remember that time?
> 
>  
> 
> also, unbeta'd ha

Somehow Jeno hardly noticed falling in love with his best friend. He wondered if there was even a progress at all. One day he just found himself looking at Jaemin beaming at him and realized that _shit_ , he was in love with him.

 

 

He had a bit of a freak out over it, but then, after a couple of days, that died down. It wasn’t like he could do much about it. Their soulmarks would appear when they were eighteen. It didn’t really matter until then. Besides, Jeno didn't really feel like starting to date Jaemin and it then turning out their marks were different, to then inevitably break up when they did find their actual soulmate.  
What were the chances of them being soulmates anyway? Of all the people in the world? They’d have to be real fucking lucky that it would just happen to be the person they'd grown up with-the one they knew through and through-instead of a total stranger.

 

 

Or at least Jeno would have to be lucky, since he was the one who was struggling with the crush in the first place. Jaemin had never shown any interest in him before in any way other than platonic and Jeno wasn’t about to ruin that by asking him out, no matter how much he would like to.

 

 

"You’ve been avoiding me lately", his best friend told him, a couple of days after he'd come to the shocking revelation.

 

"What are you talking about? I've literally been hanging out with you all day", he said incredulously, from his place on Jaemin's bed, where he was currently beating the younger man on Borderlands . He'd been doing his damn best to pretend like nothing had changed.

 

 

Jaemin turned around in his chair, most probably giving Jeno that all-too-familiar look . That look that said: ‘We've known each other for too long for you to even attempt to lie to me.’

 

‘Most probably’ being the keywords in that sentence, because Jeno wasn't gonna risk looking up and potentially losing when he was finally kind of close to winning. For the first time in literally ever. Contrary to Jaemin he actually studied as well (a necessary evil, since Jaemin could somehow read something once and then perfectly remember it, whilst Jeno could definitely not do that) and didn't spend every waking moment playing it.

 

 

"Jeno", Jaemin sighed and Jeno blindly kicked his leg. Earning him a whine.

 

"We're playing a game, stop looking at me", he complained. Jaemin sighed and turned back around.

 

"You know you can tell me if something's bothering you, right?", he said then and oh no, that was Jaemin trying to talk to him about his feelings. Usually he'd give in, as well, spend the next hour or so talking about what'd been bothering him (like Mark not hanging out with them as much anymore and other mundane stuff like that), but right now he clearly could not do that.

 

 

"It's fine, Jaem. I'm dealing with it", he sighed after he was brutally taken down by Jaemin after all.

 

Jaemin turned to him, eyes big and worried. "I didn't do anything wrong, though, right?"

 

"Besides the fact of not at least granting me one mercy-win. No", he said and the expressing fell from the younger man’s face, instead replayed by a smirk.

 

"It’s not my fault you suck", he sing-songed.

 

"You’re ice cold", Jeno muttered, a part of him screaming at him that yeah, Jaemin was ice cold for not showing at least a hint of romantic feeling towards him. For not seeing clearly how Jeno felt about him. Jeno surpressed that part. It wasn't Jaemin's fault he didn't feel that way about him. Just like it wasn't Jeno's fault he did feel it towards him. In the end, no one was to blame, except for the way their society was built upon that stupid soulmark.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

A couple of months later, on his eighteenth birthday, like nearly everyone else in the world, Jeno finally got his mark. He almost missed it completely, frantically searching his body that morning. Usually the mark was clearly visible, appearing on a hand or a wrist, sometimes even on a neck or, if one was really unlucky, on a cheek or forehead. Panic coursed through him. What if he didn't have a mark? What if there was no one out there for him? It happened. Not often, but it did happen.

 

Then he found it, on the inside of his thigh. A small mark. Vaguely resembling a half-moon. He ran his trembling finger over it, his weak _weak_ mind immediately traveling to Jaemin. Did he also have the same mark, just waiting to appear? As soon as the thought appeared he pushed it back down. There was no way, he reminded himself brusquely, shoving his pants back on. Simply no way.

 

 

When he later walked out and unsurprisingly found Jaemin waiting for him to walk to school together. His hand almost automatically itched to cover his newfound soulmark, as if Jaemin could somehow see through his clothes. That was a silly thought, though. And walking around with one hand over the inside of his thigh was even sillier. He forced himself to smile, as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

 

 

Jaemin grinned back and put an arm around his shoulder, loudly singing happy birthday. Jeno rolled his eyes, but allowed Jaemin to finish the song, earning them quite a few look.

 

 

"So...you got your mark, then?", Jaemin asked finally, clearly interested as his eyes raked over Jeno's hands in search of it. Jeno had figured. It was an incredibly sensitive topic, one you didn't just talk about. But they were best friends and Jeno knew Jaemin was nervous for his own.

 

Jeno nodded. "Yep."

 

 

"Where is it?", he asked.

 

"Not in a place you'd expect", Jeno said and he immediately regretted his phrasing when Jaemin stifled a childish giggle in his hand, eyes twinkling,

 

He rolled his eyes. "No, it's not on either of those places, Jaem. Honestly, what are you? Twelve?"

 

"I didn’t even say anything", Jaemin protested petulantly, once again proving that his behavior was behind by at least five years. Jeno wondered, not for the first time, how the hell he fell for _him_ of all people.

 

"Can I see it?'', he asked then.

 

Jeno stiffened a bit.

 

He wasn’t gonna let Jaemin see it anytime soon. If he was, it would be on the same day as his mark appeared. Or when he’d seen Jaemin's mark. So he didn’t have to live the next couple of months in the vain hope that maybe Jaemin'd come to him ("We're soulmates", he'd breathlessly say) when he did finally get his mark, only for it to be brutally squashed down, because Jaemin never would.

 

"Maybe later", he lied and when Jaemin pouted he ducked out from under his arm.

 

"Race you to school?", he offered and before even listening to Jaemin's answer he started running.

"Hey, no fair!", Jaemin yelled after him.

No, Jeno thought, it really wasn't.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Yerim asked me out."

 

Jeno looked up at his best friend, feeling as though the temperature had suddenly dropped 10 degrees. Which was impossible, because they were in the library. It was always way too hot there, since the people working there were apparently used to being in 30 degrees celcius at all times. He swallowed at the dry lump forming in his throat before speaking.

 

  
"Oh?"

  
He hoped it came out at least a bit normal-sounding.

 

 

"I know, right? I hadn't expected it either", Jaemin said absentmindedly as he put the book he’d just gone to get on the table and sat down next to him. Jeno nodded before speaking again.

 

 

"What did you-", his voice was definitely too high, he cleared his throat. "What did you say to her?"

 

Jeno had his answer as soon as a small grin appeared on Jaemin's lips. "You know me, ever the gentleman. I couldn't exactly turn her down."

 

 

The older boy forced the bitter feelings of jealousy and disappointment down. He'd expected this. He had. Of all the people in the world. It couldn’t have been them. It was _never_ meant to be them. Under the table his nails dug into the flesh of his thigh.

 

He mustered up a grin. "Congrats, man."

 

"Yeah, thanks", Jaemin said with a smal smile.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Jeno wished he could like Yerim. She was honestly the full package. She was kind, pretty, not too demanding of Jaemin's time and overall good for his best friend. She seemed to also respect the fact that Jaemin and Jeno were as close as they were, having quite literally grown up together.

 

It was just that each time Jeno saw her and Jaemin together these ugly feelings of envy seemed to fucking smother him. It was annoying and he wished he didn’t feel like that, but he did.

 

 

Jaemin eventually noticed he started acting different whenever Yerim was around and thus proceeded to almost schedule his time between the two of them. It made Jeno feel shitty that his best friend had to go to such lengths for him, but there was also a part of him that felt relieved.

 

 

 

"Jeno", Jaemin said, leaning against the locker next to Jeno's as he getting books out to take home. By that point him and Yerim had been dating for a couple of weeks. "Is it okay if we hang out tomorrow instead of today? I'm kind sleeping over at Yerim's today.."

 

Jeno stared at him silently for a bit, taking in the barely disguised nervousness and the small twinkle of anticipation in his eyes. It was clear what they were going to do.

 

 

He forced a smile on his face, the same one he'd been forcing on each time Yeri was involved, only this time it came out as more of a grimace. He then slammed his locker shut, a little too loud. Jaemin's eyes widened the tiniest bit.

 

"That's fine", he bit out, before shoving he books in his backpack an leaving the shell-shocked Jaemin at his locker. He didn't make it far. Before he’d even rounded the corner Jaemin had grabbed his wrist. He yanked it out immediately, glaring at him. The taller boy looked taken aback for a while, before anger started simmering in his eyes as well.

 

 

"What the _fuck_ is up with you lately?", he snapped then and yeah, there it was. The long unspoken question. What the fuck _was_ up with him lately?

 

"Nothing", he lied. Jaemin scoffed.

 

 

"Right, because you being an asshole each time Yerim gets all but mentioned is _nothing_. Give me a fucking break, Lee Jeno", Jaemin said with a small shake of his head. "Be honest with me."

 

"I'm not being an asshole", he bit out. He hadn't been. He’d been trying to act normal, today was the first time he slightly lost his cool. Which he was already mightily regretting.

 

 

"Well, maybe not exactly an asshole, but you sure as hell aren't acting like yourself", Jaemin bristled and when Jeno winced a bit he seemed to instantly deflate, placing a hand on his arm. 

 

"Please, Jeno. I'm just...this isn't like you. You should be happy for me, supporting me. I mean, hell. This is my first relationship and I really like her. She might even be my soulmate", Jaemin said quietly and with each word Jaemin spoke Jeno felt as though he was poking at his conscience, making him more and more miserable.

 

His soulmark seemed to burn on his skin.

 

 

"You don't know that", he whispered stupidly. Jaemin leaned forward a bit, his hand squeezing the flesh of his arm.

"What did you say?"

 

 

"Nothing. Look. Just...I'm sorry. I am happy for you. Just... _fuck_ ", Jeno brought his trembling hand up to his hair and went through it, wincing when his finger caught in a tangle. Jaemin's eyes went over to them and he frowned when he probably noticed the trembling. Jeno quickly hid his hands behind his back, effectively getting Jaemin to stop touching him. "I'm dealing with it, okay?"

 

"Jeno", Jaemin said sadly and Jeno shook his head. Not that tone again.

 

 

"Look, we've been over this. Focus on your relationship for now, alright? Just let me be."

 

With that he walked away. Jaemin didn't follow him this time.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Na Jaemin had never been good at listening to people, though. Which was why Jeno found himself being woken up by his buzzing phone at ass o'clock in the morning. He blinked blearily and looked at the caller.

 

 _‘Nana <3_’ it read. He sighed. Whatever happened to 'just let me be'.

 

Maybe he'd accidentally pressed on a button while him and Yerim were doing whatever the hell it was they were doing right now.

He picked up. "Jaem?", he asked hoarsely.

 

 

To his immense relief he wasn't met with moaning. instead it was Jaemin answering in a normal voice: "Hey Jeno."

 

"What is it?"

 

 

Jaemin let out an awkward laugh. "Um, can you, like, open the door? I'm kind of freezing?"

 

 

For a second Jeno was beyond confused, then it dawned on him. He brusquely stood up and walked down the stair, all tiredness forgotten.

Just as Jaemin said: "Jeno?" into the receiver he unlocked and threw open the front door in one swift motion. Sure enough, there Jaemin was. In all his sheepish glory. Looking back at him from where he was standing on his front porch.

 

 

"What are you doing here?", he asked, still in the receiver. Jaemin let out a small laugh and pointed to his phone.

 

 

"I don't think these are necessary anymore."

 

 

Jeno ended the call and put his phone away before repeating his question: "what are you doing here?"

 

Jeno had exactly two seconds to prepare before Jaemin suddenly started sobbing and threw his arms around Jeno’s neck, almost sending them both flying to the ground. "I don't think she's my soulmate after all, Jeno."

 

 

After a couple of minutes, after Jeno had gotten Jaemin to his room, wondrously without waking his parents up, Jaemin had calmed down enough to just sit miserably and still hiccupping on Jeno's bed. The older boy drew soothing patterns on his back. He knew that usually calmed him down.

 

"What happened, Nana?", he asked quietly as he drew a flower. Jaemin let out a trembling sigh.

 

 

"I'm sorry for...this", he muttered, leaning into Jeno's touch a bit. "I know you're mad at me. I just didn't know where else to go. It’s always been you, you know. "

 

"You can always come to me when you're sad, no matter how mad I am at you", Jeno said quietly, sincerely. Because that much was true. No matter what, they were still best friends.

 

 

Jaemin turned to give him a small smile. "You're so nice. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

 

Jeno felt his ears start to heat up. "Yeah yeah", he muttered as his finger unconsciously drew a heart. "Whatever."

 

 

"Whatever, he says", Jaemin giggled and despite the fact that his eyes were red and his cheeks flushed Jeno felt his heart skip a beat. He couldn't even bring himself to feel bitter about it.

 

"Tell me", he inquired then.

 

 

Jaemin turned back around. "Okay, so...while Yerim and I were...y'know. Getting into it", Jaemin let out a small sound of acknowledgment. At this point he'd accepted it. He'd cried himself to sleep over it a couple of hours ago, so it was out of his system. "I started kind of checking, y’know. What her soulmark was. Where it was. But she didn’t' have one, Jeno. Or at least, I don't think she did."

 

 

"You're sure she's eighteen?", he asked.

 

"She had to do a year over, Jeno. She's nineteen already", Jaemin said quietly. Jeno felt pity overtake him. For both Jaemin and Yeri.

 

 

"Man, that sucks", he muttered.

 

"Yeah, as soon as I realized I just booked it out of there and came straight over here", Jaemin said bitterly. "Pretty pathetic, right?"

 

It was weird to see Jaemin like this, so self-derogatory. Since he was usually the one oozing with confidence, while Jeno tended to be more modest. Sometimes a bit too much. They complimented each other like that. Kept each other grounded.

"No, it's not. I know how you feel about your soulmark, Jaemin. It's not pathetic, okay?", Jeno tutted.

 

 

Jaemin let out a groan. "I just... I feel so stupid. I thought that, once I get my mark next week, I'd be able to be all romantic and show her that we had matching ones. And that we'd live happily ever after."

 

 

Jeno heard the wetness in his voice. He sighed and put his arms around his best friend, putting his head on his shoulder.

 

"I know how you feel", he said quietly. Jaemin’s hands came to rest on his arm, squeezing it.

 

 

"I sincerely doubt it", Jaemin said with a small sniffle.

 

Jeno let out a non-committal sound and just stayed there, silently comforting his best friend.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The day Jaemin got his soulmark Jeno stayed home, feeling so nervous and discouraged he felt physically ill. He felt kind of bad about nog seeing Jaemin on his birthday, but it was better than the alternative, which was Jeno being there and ruining Jaemin’s big day.

 

He send him a text with an apology, a promise for the best present ever and lots of hearts.

 

 

Later that day his mother yelled at him that Jaemin was there. He all but threw his laptop away from him and pretended to be sleeping, throwing the covers over himself just before Jaemin burst into his room.

 

"What the fuck, Lee Jeno. What kind of a friend are you?", he all but screamed, jumping onto Jeno. He gasped at the sudden weight on him and scrambled to throw the blankets off himself lest he accidentally asphyxiate under Jaemin, only to find himself practically nose-to-nose with his best friend.

 

Jaemin’s eyes widened almost comically and for a second they both stayed where they were. Staring into each other’s eyes, so close Jeno could probably count his eyelashes had he wanted to. For once Jaemin looked like he didn't know what to say.

 

 

"Are you that eager to get sick as well?", Jeno then asked, hearing the tenseness in his own voice.

 

Jaemin finally finally rolled off of him, so he was lying next to Jeno.

"So I can also skip school. Gladly”, Jeno wondered why he sounded so breathless. Probably from running up the stairs. 

 

 

“So? I’m guessing you’re here for your present, birthdayboy?”

“Yeah”, Jaemin mumbled and when Jeno looked over at him he found Jaemin staring at him with a look he didn’t recognize. As soon as their eyes met Jaemin seemed to snap out of it. “I mean! That and I also came to tell you something.”

 

 

Jeno stood up to go to his closet, where he’d put the present. Whenever a special day came up he almost felt like a parent having to hide presents in his closet, since Jaemin came over so often.

“Tell me”, he said as he pulled out the present.

 

 

“Apparently me and Yerim are soulmates after all”, Jaemin breathed out and Jeno nearly dropped the gift.

“What?”, he asked quietly, rooted to the spot.

 

 

“Yeah, our soulmark is actually on the inside of our thigh, which is probably why I must’ve missed it”, Jaemin nodded. As if it all made sense. This time the present did slip from his hands. Good-fucking-bye, new expensive sunglasses, he thought as they made contact with the ground.  
Fate sure had a way of fucking with Jeno’s life. They literally had a soulmark on the same spot. _The same spot._ He almost laughed.

 

“Jeno! Careful!”, Jaemin said as he all but leapt to fallen present and picked it up.

 

“Sorry”, he said, walking over to his bed. “Did she show you hers?”

 

 

He didn’t know what possessed him to ask that. Jaemin joined him on the bed, setting the present on his lap.

  
“Well, not exactly. Because it’s not a place you’d expect, y’know. We couldn’t just show each other. But like, why should we? It’s not like she’s lying or anything.”

 

“Right”, Jeno bobbed his head, feeling strangely like he was having an out of body experience. Instead of the hurt and disappointment he’d expected from himself at this point, he felt strangely numb. Probably because he’d been prepared for this. Hadn’t dumbly hoped that maybe maybe they could be soulmates after all.

 

“I’m really happy for you, Nana”, he said, his own voice sounding far away. Jaemin nodded, his own smile a bit too big. Jeno was sure he wouldn’t have even noticed something was off if he hadn’t known Jaemin as well as he did.

 

“Are you happy?”, he asked.

 

Jaemin nodded, a bit too quickly as he caught Jeno’s gaze. “Of course. I mean, why wouldn’t I be? This is what I’d been hoping for all along, wasn’t it? I’m happy.”

“Right”, Jeno said, missing that twinkle in Jaemin’s eyes. The atmosphere was becoming a bit too tense. He cleared his throat. “Well, open your present!”

 

 

“If it’s not broken. What the actual fuck, Jeno”, Jaemin said with a small laugh, before opening it. Thankfully they were still whole.

 

“Jeno, I can’t believe you remembered”, Jaemin breathed out as he inspected them closer. They’d come across them the year before when they were out in the big city. Jaemin had loved them and wanted to buy them, but sadly he hadn’t had enough money. Jeno had gone back for them the week after. Figuring they’d make the perfect present. Of course he was right, judging by the way Jaemin was beaming down at them.

 

“I really wanted these”, he said quietly, trying them on and posing. “How do I look?”

 

“Like you, but with sunglasses”, Jeno said, not able to keep the fond smile from his face.

 

“Oh haha, you’re so funny”, Jaemin said, but even he couldn’t keep his straight face. “Come here, you.”

 

And Jeno all but melted in the hug Jaemin gave him. Like this, when it was just the two of them goofing off, he could almost forget that Jaemin wasn’t and would never be his soulmate. Just like he'd expected.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jeno subconsciously put some distance between them after that. He hung out more with Renjun and Donghyuck at school, so Jaemin didn’t have to be apart from his soulmate as much. After school he made excuses more often, so his best friend didn’t have to feel obligated to hang out him. He’d never studied and been to more family dinners as much in his life as those couple of weeks. Well, at least that's what he told Jaemin. 

 

 

He was sure that what he was doing was a good thing, though. He often caught Jaemin and Yerim being cute, sitting pressed closely together and walking arm in arm. Of course Jaemin would like to be with his soulmate more. It only made sense.

 

And okay, maybe each time Jeno rejected him Jaemin would have this horrible expression on his face, like he might actually start crying. And maybe he saw Jaemin sending him sad looks whenever he was hanging out with Donghyuck and Renjun, while he was getting dragged around from friendgroup to friendgroup by Yerim. And maybe, just maybe Jeno didn't remember the last time he'd actually seen Jaemin smile.

 

 

And yeah, perhaps Jeno had never felt this lonely before, being separated from Jaemin as much, but he was gonna have to get used to it, he guessed. At least until his own soulmate showed up one day. If they ever did, that was.

 

 

He figured it all had to come crumbling down. One of them had to break one day. Jeno had always figured it’d be him. Especially those first few months after he’d figured out that he was in love with Jaemin. He thought he’d spill it all one day, because he couldn’t take it anymore.

 

What he hadn't expected was to find Jaemin frantically ringing his doorbell one evening, when his parents were on one of their annual trips to Busan and his sister was over at her boyfriend’s, thank _god_. He didn't think they'd be very amused at being disturbed on a calm sunday evening. 

 

 

“What the fuck, Jaem”, Jeno hissed as soon as he opened the door and found him on the other side, looking winded and panting loudly. As if he ran all the way to his house.

 

“Jeno, I…”, he fell silent for a bit, seemingly taking Jeno in. He was currently wearing two mismatched pieces of pajamas, his Batman-shorts and a Naruto-shirt. Also, those thick socks from his sister, because the floor was cold, okay? Instead of the ridiculing Jeno was expecting Jaemin just smiled. “I’ve missed you.”

 

 

When Jeno gave him confused look he immediately let out an embarrassed laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, I just…It’s been a while since I came over, I guess.”

 

 

“Right”, Jeno nodded, still a little weirded out. Jaemin really looked completely disheveled. Before he could comment on it Jaemin spoke up again.

“Can I come in?”, he asked and Jeno nodded, motioning for him to do so. Jaemin did exactly that, taking off his shoes before walking over to the stairs.

 

 

“We can sit downstairs, my parents aren’t home”, Jeno said and before he knew it he found himself sitting next to Jaemin on the couch, with Jaemin still acting out of his element. Tapping his foot nervously and sneaking glances as Jeno every few seconds as his pants died down, as if was trying to figure something out. Whatever it was, he probably wasn't gonna find out by just acting like a creep. 

 

 

“Look, I didn’t want to say anything, but are you okay, Jaem? You're acting...weird", he said. 

 

“No”, Jaemin said and Jeno let out a small sound of disbelief.

 

“You want to maybe....tell me what’s wrong?”, he asked hesitantly.

 

 

“Yerim isn’t my soulmate”, Jaemin said, almost nonchalantly, as if he didn’t just drop a bomb. For the second time, at that. Jeno blinked rapidly, trying to process the information that Jaemin had just laid upon him.

 

“Wait what?”, he asked. “What are you talking about? Of course she is.”

“No, she isn’t. She lied about the soulmark”, Jaemin said, still acting as if it wasn’t that big of a deal.

 

 

What the _fuck._

 

 

If Jeno would’ve ever imagined this situation, which he sure as hell hadn’t, the Jaemin in his mind would’ve been devastated, crying and sobbing as he said: "How could she do that? I trusted her!" over and over. 

 

“Jaemin, what the hell. Are you okay?”, he asked worriedly. Maybe he was just having a belated reaction. He already braced himself for the impact of Jaemin throwing himself in his arms.

 

 

“Yeah, I’m…surprisingly good”, Jaemin nodded with a genuine smile. A lock of hair was clinging to his sweaty forehead. Jeno reached out to brush it away. “I’m relieved, actually. I’m glad.”

Jeno froze when Jaemin grabbed his hand, stopping him from fixing hair, and squeezed it tight. That twinkle Jeno had been missing was back in his eyes.

 

“Can you please show me your mark?”, he asked quietly and when Jeno’s hand unconsciously went over to his own thigh Jaemin’s eyes followed it, when he looked back up at Jeno he looked happier than he’d seen him in what seemed like months. “I _knew_ it.”

 

 

Jeno himself felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack.  
It seemed like he was suddenly woken up from a comatose state of not feeling anything and back to feeling all the pain, desperation and hurt he hadn’t felt when he thought Jaemin and Yerim were soulmates. He _shouldn’t_ hope. He hadn’t been hoping for years now. He shouldn’t start now. The burn after, when it undoubtedly turned out they weren’t that they weren’t soulmates, would hurt too much. He knew it would.

 

“You can’t ask that of me”, he said quietly. “Please, Jaemin.”

 

“Why not? It’s clear we’re soulmates”, Jaemin said, as if he didn’t understand what Jeno was getting at.

 

Jeno let out a hysterical giggle and twisted out of his grip.

  
“What do you mean? It’s _clear_? All this time you didn’t once show me a sign. Until just now you thought Yerim was your soulmate, for fuck’s sake, Jaem. How the hell can it be clear?”, his voice was several octaves higher, the way it got when he was upset. Jaemin looked taken aback. “If it turns out we aren’t I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

 

A long silence followed after his small outburst. Jeno refused to look Jaemin in the eyes, instead staring at that stupid out of place lock of hair and trying hard to ignore the burning behind his eyes.

 

“Jeno, I’m so fucking sorry for putting you through that. I truly _truly_ am”, Jaemin said quietly. “But just know that all this time it was _you_. Remember my birthday, when you asked me if I was happy Yerim was my soulmate? “

  
Jeno bit his lip and nodded. It wasn't exactly a very fond memory.

 

 

“I lied when I said I was. The truth is that all I could think about that day was kissing you", Jaemin confessed. 

 

Jeno's breath caught in his throat.

 

"It’s all I’ve been thinking about for months. I thought it was just something small and that it was one-sided. But after Yerim told me she lied and I broke up with her, as I was on my way here.... I started putting two and two together. Your reaction to certain things. Like when I told you I started dating Yerim or when I bailed on you because I was going to sleep with her and especially when I said she was my soulmate. It suddenly all made sense. It’s not one-sided. We _are_ meant to be.”

 

Jeno sniffled. “You don’t know that.”

 

“Jeno, look at me.” Jaemin gently cradled his face and leaned closer. “There's only one way to be sure and that is if we show each other. And in the off chance that it turns out we aren’t, then we’ll still be together, okay? Because I love you, Lee Jeno. Soulmark or not.”

 

Jeno let out a trembling sigh and nodded after a couple more seconds of hesitation. No matter how much he wanted to avoid that burn. Jaemin’s words had convinced him. Besides, if it was Jaemin asking him, he'd probably do just about anything. “Okay. Yeah...okay.”

 

“Okay”, Jaemin smiled, before pressing a kiss to his forehead and leaning back, expectantly looking at Jeno’s thigh.

 

“Let’s do it at the same time”, Jeno said.

 

“Alright, but I’m gonna to pull off my pants. Just warning you”, Jaemin said with a wink and despite the situation Jeno snorted.

“Right, because I haven’t seen you in your underwear before”, he said sarcastically. Jaemin just chuckled as he stood up and unbuttoned his pants. Jeno was glad he was wearing shorts. It was weird enough with one of them pulling down their pants, in the context they were in, at least. 

 

This was it, he thought as he grabbed his batman shorts. The moment he’d been hell-bent on not thinking about for about two years now. The moment of truth. 

 

They caught each other's gaze and Jaemin gave him an encouraging smile before speaking: “Alright. On three. One. Two. Three!”

 

They both bared their mark. Jeno anxiously stared at inside of Jaemin’s thigh, nearly doing a double-take when he saw that all-too-familiar half-moon gracing it. As if it hadn’t just made Jeno’s life a living hell for months. Until the moment he actually saw it Jeno had been almost certain that there was simply no way.

 

Jaemin let out an excited shriek. “I told you, Jeno! I told you we were soulmates! But you wouldn’t listen. Oh man, I’m-”

 

Jeno tuned him out. His mind too busy coming to terms with the fact that somehow Jaemin was his soulmate. Had been his soulmate all along. That chance Jeno had never dared to take had been the one he was always supposed to. The burning behind his eyes got too hard to ignore and before Jeno knew it there were tears running over his cheeks.

 

“Jeno? Are you-Oh no. Jeno. Wait just a second. I’m pulling up my pants, but I’ll be a right there to comfort you”, Jaemin said frantically and Jeno almost choked on the snort that left his mouth at hearing that, before sobbing even harder. He buried his face in his hands and leaned into his best friend when he finally hugged him tight.

 

“Jeno. Hey, come on. Shht. It’s okay. It’s okay. We’re soulmates, we've got the same soulmark after all. Don’t cry. Don’t cry, Jeno”, Jaemin whispered into his hair and Jeno let his voice soothe him. The voice he’d known since he was a literal toddler, the one he’d heard grow up, along with the boy it belonged to.

 

He leaned back a bit to look into Jaemin’s twinkling eyes. He was clearly overjoyed. His hands lowered to rest on Jeno’s waist. As if he didn't want to let go. 

 

 

“I can’t believe that I’m soulmates with someone who still thinks ass- and dickjokes are funny”, he sniffled as he finally reached out and fixed up that lock of hair, only for his hand to linger on his cheek when he was pulling back. Jaemin immediately leaned into his touch and grinned.

 

“What can I say? A gentleman laughs at all jokes.”

 

“Oh my god, just shut up”

 

“Gladly”, Jaemin giggled, before leaning forward and pressing his lips to Jeno’s. The older boy immediately melted into the kiss and regretted the fact that they hadn’t done it before, seeing how then he would’ve never doubted the fact that they were in fact soulmates. Otherwise it wouldn't feel as good as it did. 

 

 

 

“Jaemin”, he whispered when they were laying face-to-face in his bed later that evening.

 

“Hmm”, Jaemin hummed as he combed his fingers through Jeno’s hair. “I love you, too.”

 

Jaemin smiled gently and grabbed Jeno’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> nomin, huh? 
> 
> yeah, i'm like so weak for them. i've literally got a 10k fic of them sitting in my drafts, it's not even funny.
> 
> do let me know what you thought of this!! 
> 
> [ my tumblr](http://chimchimerie.tumblr.com).


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